Bittersweet Secret
By JM Lane

Rating: T | Status: Completed | Genre: Drama | Series: None
Summary: Original Series. Roxanne Drew becomes pregnant by Barnabas and attempts to conceal it from him and his family as well as her own.

Go to: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Part 2

Later, when Roxanne recalled the tryst with Barnabas, the first thing she remembered was his beautiful sable-brown eyes and tender smile before the world was blotted out by his strong but gentle arms and sweetly insistent lips. A moment later she felt his tongue gently probing between her lips in search of her own even as he undressed her, piece by piece, and she did the same for him.

After the last item of clothing had been dropped to the floor, Barnabas lightly stroked Roxanne’s bare back, turned her so her back was to him, then pressed her body close to his to feel his arousal; as she parted her legs to accommodate him, he moaned softly and pressed her even closer. His hands moved up to cradle her breasts—creamy, grapefruit-size globes tipped with deep pink, rosebud nipples, which were painfully hard.

"Oh…Roxanne, Roxanne," he crooned against her silky, fragrant neck as he moved sensuously against her—then his right hand moved to slip between her legs to find her painfully sensitive sex.

"Barnabas, Barnabas…oh, my darling…" She moaned and squirmed under his sexy ministrations.

She was overwhelmed by him, by his nearness, his touch, his kiss. How could this truly be happening again? She had to have died and gone to Heaven! Still, all she wanted—for now and all time—was to be here in Barnabas’ arms, feeling his lips and body molding themselves to hers.

"Stay with me tonight, Roxanne. I don’t want to be alone," he pleaded. "It has been so long since we have been together, since I have felt your warm sweetness in my arms."

"I’m not going anywhere," she assured him.

Their passion took them to heights neither had ever imagined possible as he turned her around and they kissed and caressed one another. A short time later, Barnabas’ talented fingers had brought Roxanne to an incredible climax. She had never felt such pleasure before—nor would she, ever again. Her knees were weak from the intensity of it, so he helped her to the bed, then lay down with her, positioning his lover so that she was astride him. He helped her move up and down on him, his hands gently holding her hips and his hard, deliciously throbbing member fitting perfectly inside her, completing her as nothing ever had…or ever would. Roxanne knew she would always want to feel Barnabas between her legs, inside her, both in front and in the back…

"Sweet Roxanne, you are so beautiful—especially now that you are carrying my child." Barnabas stroked and kissed her pregnant belly, then placed her on her side beside him, yet facing away from him, then put his arms around her from behind, pressing his hardness gently between her buttocks as he did so.

Roxanne moaned with pleasure when Barnabas’ fingertips brushed her erect nipples while still cradling her warm, sweet fullness—then nuzzled the nape of her neck with his lips, causing such a delicious tingle to spread down her spine, then to every part of her body, ending in her most sensitive parts.

"We have so much time to make up for, my darling," he crooned as he moved deliciously against her, molding his body spoon-fashion around her. "I don’t think I shall ever get enough of you."

"Barnabas…" she whispered huskily.

"Yes?" he asked softly, voice equally husky as he rested his head on her bare shoulder for a time.

"Please—lick and suck my nipples. I want…I need to feel you doing it."

He turned her to face him again; she was once again astride him as the lantern light in the room threw their shadows onto the wall. A roaring fire was blazing in the fireplace—a fitting accompaniment to the sweet, hot fire of the lovers’ passion.

"Barnabas, my love. Please…now, before I die."

A moment later his lips found and drew Roxanne’s left nipple into his sweetly hot, delicious mouth. His tongue gently stroked around the nipple, making it harden further before beginning to suck hungrily. She moaned and arched her back, the double pleasure of feeling both his sweet hardness moving and pulsing inside her while his lips and tongue feasted on her breast almost driving her over the edge.

"Ohh…beloved, that feels so wonderful…"

A minute later he favored her right breast and nipple with equal attention, prompting a similar response to his exquisite torture. Shortly afterward, the passionate pair sank down to the softness of the large feather bed beneath them. They were swept away into a maelstrom of unimaginable passion, stronger, deeper and yet sweeter than any they had ever known before. All Roxanne cared to know was the feel of her beloved’s lips and tongue, the feel of him once again moving inside her, burying his face in her neck with a groan and slumping against her—but before she had a chance to catch her breath, he was at it again.

He passionately pressed her body close to his, making her ride him gently at first, then harder, until he was almost battering her. His member was still rock-hard and throbbing deliciously inside her, loving the molten heat the intimate contact prompted within her totally aroused body. His hands found her hips again as his pelvis molded itself to hers; they shifted position and cried out even as Barnabas climaxed, knowing he would be unable to stop himself for a long time. All he could do was thrust deeply and let himself go. His voice was a moan as he tried to warn Roxanne.

"Roxanne…"

"Yes, beloved. Yes…yes!" she cried out again as his body tensed against hers. She soon felt her own release coming, every bit as uncontrollable as his. When it hit, she felt as though they had been rocketed to the stars. It felt like a molten river filling her entire body cavity. So this was how it felt to have Barnabas come inside her, his large erection filling her beyond belief, the connection between them so tight that there was no way for them to disengage, even had they desired to do so at this point…he had grown so much inside her.

This suited Roxanne just fine; she had waited so long for this—and him—that she wanted it to last as long as possible. Another orgasm crashed over her at this point, like an immense tidal wave, her pleasure so intense that she almost passed out. After a time she whispered against his lips, "Barnabas… Darling, I want you to lick and suck between my legs…"

It took a while for them to disengage, but he managed, then released her and kissed his way down her body, lingering on her swollen belly until he was just above the pubic area, moving her unresisting legs apart just enough so that he could get his head between them. His tongue lightly stroked her sex, parting the soft folds nestled within. He drank in her sweet juices coupled with his own as he explored further. She moaned, writhed and cried out when he touched her sensitive center. Her hands pressed his head closer, loving the feel of his silky black hair beneath her fingers.

"Oh, my love, I want to come. Make me come with your tongue…" It wasn’t long before his tongue began probing and exploring with devastating thoroughness. She soon began the delicious climb to yet another orgasm even as Barnabas felt himself once again become achingly hard. He had no idea it was possible to become aroused again so quickly or easily, even during his liaison with Angelique in Martinique so many years ago.

The height of this pinnacle dwarfed even the intensity of her other orgasm; she had to fight to stay conscious this time and it took even longer to recover—but once she had, she whispered to her lover, "I want to please you now, beloved. Take you into my mouth, lick and suckle you to ecstasy…"

Being an old-fashioned man, Barnabas was momentarily scandalized, but despite this soon found himself wanting to feel his iron-hard, pleasurably throbbing manhood in Roxanne’s sweet, moist mouth. He flushed at the thought, but his aroused body and desire for her soon took precedence. He moved so she could more easily take him into her mouth; she gently licked and sucked his length, careful not to bite him. He moaned and squirmed, holding her auburn head between his legs as her lips and tongue inflamed him almost beyond endurance.

When she stopped momentarily to note his reactions, she smiled inwardly at the look of mixed pain and frustration on his face. "Please—Roxanne, my darling, do not stop. I…must–come in your mouth. I can…wait no longer. Ohhh–"

Once she had resumed her previous actions, it took but a moment for him to arch his back and cry out in pleasure as liquid passion left his body to fill his lover’s eager mouth. One would have thought each would have been exhausted by now, but the desire between Roxanne and Barnabas was such that they had to join one more time. The love they made was once again tenderly passionate as their lips, tongues and hands intimately explored each other’s bodies.

Barnabas eventually positioned himself, once again hard, at the opening to Roxanne’s body, sighing contentedly as he moved within her. Her arms and hands pressed him close as they kissed deeply one more time. Between kisses, she whispered, "You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this, fantasized about this…"

This seemed to urge him on until he was moving inside her with such urgency that she didn’t think he would ever get enough of her. He seemed insatiable as his hands and lips moved over her and his hardness moved inside her, making up for all the months the lovers had been denied to each other. Roxanne doubted she would ever get the taste or feel of Barnabas out of either her mind or body…and frankly never wanted to. Her unborn child had even seemed to leap for joy inside her, as if it knew that its parents were together again at last.

She felt as if she had been given a badge of honor. She loved, and was loved, by Barnabas Collins, the sexiest, most passionate man in the world! Both were pleasantly exhausted by the time reality manifested itself again, but had just enough energy to curl around each other and prepare themselves for sleep. Within half an hour, the intricately entwined lovers slept deeply and contentedly until morning.

Barnabas’ last waking thoughts were occupied with the necessity of getting Roxanne home safely, then preparing for his meeting with the client he had come to see. He had no wish to rise early or ever be parted from her again—particularly now that he knew she carried his child—but for the moment, it was necessary.

There had to be a way to be with her as he wished. He prayed it was only a matter of finding it, because he wanted with all his heart, every fiber of his being, for the mother of his child to also be his lawfully wedded wife.

It took roughly a week for even Barnabas to wear down the aforementioned client, but he managed. He kept Quentin informed as to the progress of his negotiations, but told himself to tell only Julia about his having been reunited with Roxanne and for her not to discuss it under any circumstances with anyone but him. Virtually every moment he wasn’t with the client, he was with Roxanne, making up for lost time with the proverbial vengeance. His love for her seemed to grow by the day; it was difficult for him to believe that it was possible to feel so deeply for anyone.

Randall Drew had offered several times to pick his sister up in order to save Barnabas the trip, but the latter diplomatically refused, explaining that he wished to be with her as long as possible. Despite his initial wariness of the man, Randall found himself trusting Barnabas implicitly–and over time, realized that his trust had not been misplaced. His only concern was for what might happen should Valerie Collins learn what was going on and harm Roxanne and/or her child as she had originally threatened.

Barnabas found himself devoutly wishing it were possible for him to be married to two women, then keep Roxanne in New York as his "favorite" wife and Valerie/Angelique as "senior" wife, despite the fact that their marriage was largely in name only. For the most part, Barnabas simply went through the motions of being a proper husband, doing and saying all the right things in public, but sharing little with her other than their home. His heart was with Roxanne and there it would stay.

He could still recall the first time he had returned Roxanne to her home. He had awakened early just to watch his beloved sleep, feeling such love for her and their child that he thought his heart would burst. As he had once told Julia, he had not felt like this since Josette… and since then, he had discovered that his feelings for Roxanne now surpassed even those he had felt for Josette, particularly since Roxanne was carrying his child, something Josette had never been allowed to do.

Once Roxanne had awakened, he had explained to her that he had an early appointment with an important business contact; otherwise he would gladly have stayed with her. "This client is very important to the future of the Collins family corporation, but at the same time, very difficult to negotiate with, so my cousin Quentin, CEO of the company, believes that I am the one best suited to deal with him."

Roxanne sensed his sincerity and his desire to do his best not to let his cousin down, smiling understandingly. "Of course, my darling. I understand—but will I see you again?"

He pulled her into his arms upon sensing her doubts. "I shall remain here for as long as it takes to convince our client to sign with us…and assure you that I intend to see you at every opportunity. After having finally found you again, I have no plans to let you go."

"In that case, I had better get ready so that you can escort me home—but I hate to let you out of my sight after having been without you for so long." She turned over and attempted to get out of bed upon his releasing her, but her bulk made it necessary for Barnabas to assist her… which he was all too happy to do.

Once on her feet, Roxanne was able to do almost everything for herself, except put on her stockings and hose. Again, Barnabas had to help her—and again, was happy to do it…do something like a husband might do for his wife—a title he wanted so very much to bestow upon her, a title his heart told him was meant for Roxanne and her alone. Once that was done, he retrieved her cloak and placed it around her shoulders upon finishing dressing himself. She waited in a chair near the door, her reticule in her hands, while he gathered his business materials, then donned his own cloak.

Barnabas left the suite with Roxanne upon leaving a note for the maid to make up his room. It was still only about 7:30 a.m., so he would have just enough time to drop Roxanne off at her home before heading to his business appointment. Upon calling for an enclosed carriage, the lovers held each other tightly once in the privacy of its cab; Roxanne had even felt her unborn child kick her.

"Barnabas!" she called softly.

"What?" he replied. "Are you all right, darling?"

"I’m fine," she assured him. "I just want you to feel something." She took one of his hands and placed it on the right side of her large belly; to his delight, Barnabas felt movement, a gentle kicking under his hand. His child!

"Our baby," he murmured softly.

"Yes, my darling," she confirmed, resting a loving hand over his, which was still on her belly.

"Which reminds me—I want you to take good care of yourself. Nothing must endanger you or our child." He held her auburn head close to his heart and kissed the top of it. "I will see you again at the first opportunity after my appointment," he promised as they pulled up in front of her home. He got out, then helped her out and took her to the door, waiting while she unlocked it. He disliked her being alone in the house while he and her brother were working…except for the housekeeper, that is…but there was little he could do about it.

After a lingering kiss at the door, he reluctantly released Roxanne and whispered, "I don’t want to leave you, my darling–not ever again…but I must."

"I know; it’s necessary," she reminded him. "You’d better go now, my love. Contact me as soon as you can."

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Take care, beloved."

"You, too," she returned. She then surprised him by standing on her tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on his nose before stepping through the door and locking it behind her.

Barnabas was stunned for a moment, then smiled and turned back to head for the waiting carriage—then got into it and told the driver to take him to his next destination, the New York offices of the Collins Family Corporation. With that, Barnabas officially began his workday.

Barnabas found himself staying with Roxanne again that night, this time at her home with Randall’s permission, sharing another tenderly passionate interlude in her arms. No thoughts of possible repercussions should Valerie/Angelique find out about it entered his mind in the ecstasy he and Roxanne shared together. Upon his return to the hotel the following afternoon after business hours were over, the desk clerk approached him as he entered the lobby.

"Barnabas Collins?" he asked.

"Yes?" Barnabas turned to face him.

"I have a message for you, Mr. Collins. It came in around eight p.m. yesterday evening," the other man reported.

"Who was it from?" he asked, thinking it might be from Quentin.

"The message was signed ‘Valerie Collins’. Is she your wife?"

Barnabas nodded. "I have been away on business and too busy to contact her."

"Then I respectfully suggest that you do so at your earliest opportunity, sir. If I may say so, she seems very anxious to get in touch with you."

"I shall do so; don’t worry," Barnabas assured the clerk, wondering all the while how he would respond to the message. He knew he had to, of course; otherwise, Valerie/Angelique might come up here herself and he couldn’t risk her finding out about Roxanne, especially since his beloved was carrying his first child. Perhaps a son, but after all this time, gender mattered little to him as long as it meant his becoming a father.

For the moment, however, Barnabas had to think of what he was going to say and hope to God it would satisfy her, because Angelique had never been easily fooled…not for long. She could pretend to be, then at the same time secretly plot to discover the truth in her own way. Whatever else she was, his wife wasn’t stupid. He knew better than anyone how dangerous it was to cross her, but where Roxanne was concerned, didn’t see that he had any choice in the matter. His know ledge of Roxanne’s whereabouts and the fact of her advanced pregnancy must remain a secret if her and the child’s safety were to be anywhere near guaranteed.

After having dinner, he finally wrote the following:

October 19, 1840

He directed the clerk to give the message to his fastest horse and rider in order to ensure the most rapid possible delivery to Valerie/Angelique at the Old House, making sure to tip both men handsomely. Now that that was done, Barnabas decided to do all he could to ensure that his alibi would be airtight should Angelique decide to make inquiries, and that all concerned would back him up one hundred percent. If he was successful, she might still be suspicious, but would be unable to prove anything against him.

However, he wrote a very different letter to Julia, explaining that he had been reunited with Roxanne and was fully aware of both her pregnancy and the circumstances behind it…also that when he wasn’t working, he spent every possible moment with her, making up for lost time. He also planned to return to New York to be with her at every opportunity and fully intended to be an integral part of his child’s life to the fullest possible extent. He also hoped that he would be able to be with Roxanne when she gave birth.

He had recently instructed both Quentin and Randall Drew to cover for him during his future trips to New York, again claiming urgent business with one client or another in order to cover his tracks as best he could. Of course, he would need to actually contact the client and see if there was any actual business they wished to transact, so he could tell Angelique that and not feel he was lying. Otherwise she would surely detect it, and that was the last thing he needed.

He also intended to have a talk with Julia and ask why she had kept the child and Roxanne’s location secret for so long, although he couldn’t be too upset with her. Julia had always acted in his best interests, so Barnabas was sure that that was also the case here. He did not consciously mean to be callous or thoughtless of her feelings, particularly when they regarded him, but at the moment was too happy to hold back his own. He could only hope that she would forgive him for any pain his confessions might cause her.

When Barnabas finally did arrive back in Collinsport—again, after having come directly to Grand Central from Roxanne’s home, where he had once again spent the night—five and a half days had passed. He was frankly dreading his confrontation with Angelique because he was certain she suspected the worst and would not hesitate to tell him as much. He couldn’t help but breathe easier when he saw only Julia waiting for him; the two friends embraced warmly.

"Barnabas, it’s good to have you back," Julia told him.

"It’s good to see you, too," he returned sincerely. "Where is Valerie?"

"Having breakfast," was the reply.

"Did you get my letter?" Barnabas wondered, seeming to relax at the knowledge that his wife was not going to walk in unexpectedly.

Julia nodded. "I imagine you were surprised to see Roxanne again."

"That’s putting it mildly," he opined. "I was never so shocked–or happy–in my life. I have missed her almost unbearably, and she has never seemed so beautiful to me as now, when she is carrying my child." He smiled at the thought. "Julia, why did you not at least tell me why she left? You know how long I have waited to become a father."

I know, Julia thought with a smile, even as a sharp pain pierced her heart. I only wish that I could be the one to give you your first child!

"I cannot speak of it further here or now," Barnabas stage-whispered. "But we must discuss it at length as soon as possible."

"When you decide, let me know when and I’ll be there," Julia assured him. "I had better let you get settled back in now. See you later."

"Later," he said, nodding and smiling in her direction before taking his leave of her.

A short time later, Valerie/Angelique came into the Collinwood drawing room. "I understand Barnabas has returned," she remarked coolly to Julia.

"Yes, he has," Julia confirmed with equal coolness. "You just missed him, in fact. I expect he’s on his way back to the Old House."

"Good," the younger-looking woman opined. "I’ll go back there myself now, since I need to speak with him anyway."

Angelique nodded in Julia’s direction and also departed. Julia sighed in relief, glad to see the other woman go. There was no love lost between them, particularly since Valerie/Angelique suspected that Julia’s feelings for Barnabas were more than friendship…among other things. She believed she had been able to dissuade her, for the moment, but could not say exactly for how long—and fervently wished that she could go to the Old House and be with Barnabas, if only for moral support when his wife confronted him.

But she had specific orders to stay away because she was not welcome there—at least not by her erstwhile sister-in-law. Then she had a thought. Perhaps she could go and listen at the parlor window at the Old House, see how the conversation between Barnabas and Valerie went. Yes, she would do that.

Julia then grabbed her own cloak and departed Collinwood for the Old House, a quarter-hour’s walk away, praying all the while that Barnabas managed to keep not only his secret assignation with Roxanne from becoming known to his wife but the fact of the younger woman’s pregnancy, the knowledge that it was his child…and most of all, the fact that he fully intended to continue his trips to New York—all the while under the guise of business if necessary—in order to see her… and later on, their child.

By the time Julia arrived and had hidden herself in the bushes outside the open window of the Old House parlor, the discussion between Barnabas and his wife…which was fast degenerating into an argument—was well underway.

"Did you not receive my letter?" Barnabas reiterated, very close to losing his temper. "I explained to you where and why I had been out that evening."

Angelique stared icy blue daggers at her husband. "Did you truly expect me to believe that rubbish? That was one of the most transparent cover-up schemes I have ever seen!"

"It was not rubbish, it was the truth. I would be a fool to attempt to conceal anything from you," Barnabas insisted, then sighed. "All right, what do you believe I have done?" As if I don’t know, he thought wryly.

"I cannot say, but I assure you, I will find out," she warned. "And when I do…" Her voice trailed off ominously.

"If you are so certain I am guilty of something, check out my story," Barnabas challenged, confident that he had covered his tracks sufficiently so that Angelique could not uncover any evidence of wrongdoing on his part…any evidence of Roxanne, her pregnancy or even her relationship to Randall Drew—and even if this fact were discovered, it could be easily explained…and believably–for most people. Angelique was something else again. Her suspicious nature and rampant paranoia were legendary. So far, Julia believed that Barnabas had the upper hand, but knowing Angelique, she could not be sure how long that would be the case.

"Oh, I intend to; you may have no doubt of that," Angelique shot back. "Your story is far too clever, entirely too well-contrived to be believable—and whatever I must do to uncover the truth, I shall do it! In the meantime, bathe and change. I have ordered dinner to be served within the hour."

"Very well. If you will excuse me." Barnabas nodded in his wife’s direction and left the room. A short time later Angelique also departed.

Having surmised that the conversation was over, Julia also turned to leave and had almost made good her escape when she felt a rough hand pull her back. She turned to find Angelique’s servant, the renegade Gypsy, Laszlo, standing there, glaring menacingly at her.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. "You know that you have been banished from this house!"

"I was taking a walk," Julia claimed.

"I don’t believe you," Laszlo challenged.

"I don’t care if you believe me or not," Julia snapped. "It’s the truth, and even if I had been doing what you accuse me of, it would have been out of love and concern for my brother. No one and nothing is going to stop me from checking on him when I feel the need to do so. Not you, not Angelique…not anyone!"

"I don’t believe that Barnabas Collins is your brother any more than he is mine," Laszlo declared. "The two of you are hiding something, and I intend to find out what it is!"

"You sound as paranoid as your mistress, blowing a simple matter totally out of proportion," Julia stated coolly but ominously. "Now, if you would kindly release me, I’m late for my supper. Good day."

To Julia’s surprise, her arm was released and she was free to go her way…but she had a few more things to say first. "Whatever your reasons for being here, I don’t want to catch you here again, or else I will be forced to report you," Laszlo warned.

"Do as you like," Julia returned carelessly. "Of course, one might ask you the same question you asked me, because as far as I know, Angelique hasn’t needed you to do any more of her dirty work for at least the last week—but knowing her, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time."

"I don’t have to tell you anything," Laszlo shot back.

"Nor do I have to tell you anything," Julia retorted. With that, she flounced off in the direction of Collinwood with as much dignity as she could muster. Upon arrival, she headed back to her room to bathe and change, thinking over all she had heard and speculating on what it might mean for not only Barnabas and Roxanne but their child and herself, if Valerie/Angelique discovered the whole, entire truth as she had threatened.

Despite their best efforts, Julia had little doubt that it would happen eventually, given Angelique’s determination and penchant for making all the lives of those unlucky enough to come into contact with her as miserable as possible. For the time being, however, she surmised that discretion would be the better part of valor…at least until circumstances called for her and/or Barnabas to do otherwise.

To both Barnabas and Julia’s (not to mention Roxanne and Randall’s) relief, it seemed to have satisfied Angelique, what she found upon inquiring as to her husband’s activities in New York while on his recent business trip. So far she had given no indication that she’d discovered anything incriminating…or if she had, she wasn’t talking.

That could simply mean that she was plotting something, but it was hard to take precautions when they were so unsure of what she was up to, if anything. All they could do was be as prepared as possible, for as much as possible—while all the time the lovers continued their correspondence.

The next thing they knew, a courier brought a telegram from New York to Collinwood, bearing the news they both anticipated and dreaded.

 JULIA

 URGENT BUSINESS IN NEW YORK STOP YOU AND BARNABAS NEEDED IMMEDIATELY STOP DETAILS WHEN YOU ARRIVE STOP COME TO MY HOME STOP

 RD

 Considering the initials used, Julia was convinced that it could be none other than Randall Drew contacting them…but what had happened? Had Roxanne gone into labor? It wasn’t her due date yet; only around the first of December. Could she be delivering early? That happened sometimes with first babies. She had to speak with Barnabas, whatever it took, so she went to the Old House. Thankfully he was there alone; she asked where Valerie/Angelique was.

"She went to Bangor on a shopping trip with that Gypsy lackey of hers," he reported. "Why?"

She handed him the telegram, which he quickly perused. The pair looked at each other apprehensively.

"When did this come?" he asked.

"Half an hour ago. I came immediately to tell you. We must get to New York right away."

"Do you think Roxanne’s time has come?" Barnabas wondered.

"It’s early, but entirely possible," Julia confirmed. "Can you be ready in an hour? I’ll get packed, call for a carriage, then pick you up here."

"Fine," Barnabas agreed. "I will be waiting."

True to his word, Barnabas was ready and waiting when Julia returned with the carriage. After his luggage had been loaded onto it, the two climbed in and were off. From the Bangor station, Barnabas sent a quick telegram to his wife before they boarded the train to New York.

 VALERIE

HAVE BEEN CALLED TO NEW YORK ON URGENT BUSINESS STOP ONE OF THE CORPORATION’S CLIENTS HAS FALLEN ILL AND IS IN HOSPITAL STOP JULIA IS ACCOMPANYING ME FOR CONSULTATION REASONS STOP WILL GIVE YOU THE DETAILS UPON MY RETURN STOP

BARNABAS

 

Julia marveled at how Barnabas could think on his feet so easily and quickly; when she commented on this, he smiled wryly and replied, "I assure you, I have had to learn to do so…and the hard way, thanks to Angelique."

Considering both the suddenness of his departure and the fact that Julia, a doctor, had accompanied him, Barnabas had to expect that despite his reassuring telegram, Angelique would again suspect the worst, but there was little he could do about it now. He could only hope that she would go directly back to the Old House from Bangor and not follow him to New York upon receipt of the telegram; otherwise, he doubted he could ever explain his way out of this. In the other situation, he had had ample opportunity to cover his tracks; this one had cropped up so suddenly that he would be unable to do so—at least not easily or quickly.

Barnabas couldn’t let himself think too much about that now; he was more concerned about Roxanne. What if she had problems giving birth? What if she and/or the child died? He couldn’t bear that thought; he must think positive…they were going to live! But this was 1840; there weren’t half the medical marvels here that there were even in 1970. In the 19^th century, it was more likely than not that a woman died in childbirth, even with proper medical care, if complications set in that the medical practitioner was unprepared for. Even Julia’s medical skill might not be enough to save Roxanne and the child if she didn’t have the proper tools and drugs to work with…and he couldn’t be sure of that, even though she had brought her bag with its medicines and medical paraphernalia with her from 1970.

Julia understood why Barnabas was so quiet; he was preoccupied with Roxanne and his child. He would be devastated if he lost them now after having come so close to being a father, so if only for his sake, she had to do her best for them, whatever that entailed.

Upon arrival in New York, they called for a carriage to take them directly to the Drew home. Randall was waiting when they arrived; the first thing Barnabas asked was, "How is Roxanne?"

"She’s in hospital; she went into labor early this morning," he explained. "I thought it best to meet you here, then we could go to the hospital together. Is your carriage still here?"

"I told them to wait," Barnabas confirmed.

"Good; let’s go. I’ll tell you the rest on the way." After a quick note to his housekeeper and locking up the house, Randall joined Barnabas and Julia in the carriage and they headed for the hospital.

Once at the hospital, Barnabas and Julia followed Randall to the maternity ward. The nurse on duty recognized Randall, but asked who his companions were.

"Barnabas Collins, father of the child, and Julia Collins, his sister, who is also a physician," Randall explained.

The nurse seemed both surprised and hesitant before she said, "Very well. I will tell the doctor you’re here. One moment." She turned and disappeared through the nearby double doors.

Barnabas had to fight not to follow her. His beloved was here somewhere, bringing his child into the world; he wanted—needed—to be with her and resented anyone keeping him from her side.

After a seeming eternity, the nurse returned. "Miss Drew is in Delivery Room Three. Dr. Thoroughgood is with her, but she is calling for you, Mr. Collins. Are you her husband? Perhaps I should change the name on her chart."

There was silence for a moment as the others held their breaths, wondering what Barnabas’ answer would be. Both knew how much he wanted to be Roxanne’s husband, but saying he was and actually being such were two different things. What if he said he already was and Angelique found out?

It was their turn to be stunned when Barnabas said, without blinking and with a straight face, "Yes, she is my wife. Now may I see her?"

Both Julia and Randall stared at him, wide-eyed, but Barnabas frowned and shook his head in their direction. All that mattered to him right now was getting to Roxanne; he could deal with Angelique and any repercussions which might result from his impulsive statement later, after all this childbirth business was over and done with.

"I see. In that case, Mr. Collins, follow me. You too, Dr. Collins. She is this way." The other nurse present directed Randall Drew to seat himself in the waiting room to wait for both his sister to give birth and his companions to return.

It was all Barnabas could do to keep from gathering Roxanne into his arms when he finally managed to see her; it seemed forever before he and Julia had been prepared sufficiently to be allowed in the delivery room. The attending physician, one Lawrence Thoroughgood, nodded in their direction to acknowledge their presence, then returned to monitoring her vital signs.

"Roxanne! Darling, I am here," he crooned lovingly to her when he at last stepped up to her side.

Roxanne latched onto his hand like a lifeline, raising it to her lips and kissing it passionately. "Beloved," she murmured. "Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me…" A moment later, she moaned and writhed as another contraction hit her.

He leaned over to kiss her perspiring forehead. "I am not leaving you, my precious," he assured her. "Not until our child is born."

Julia joined Dr. Thoroughgood in monitoring Roxanne’s vital signs and the progress of the birth; both doctors determined that she was about ready to give birth, since she was almost fully dilated and the child had moved into the proper position. Even at that, it would still be some hours before it would occur...and there would still be much perspiration, much pain. Once the baby’s head appeared, Dr. Thoroughgood gave his patient a shot of local anesthetic and made a slight incision to make it easier for it to come out. He then sutured the edges of the incision to help prevent unnecessary bleeding.

Not long afterward Roxanne’s moans and writhing became continuous, and occasionally she screamed. Barnabas closed his eyes in pain and ignored it as best he could, but still felt her pain as if it were his own. She was going through such agony—and for his sake. If only there was something more he could have done to help her! He never left her side all during the long hours of her childbirth; his hand was sore and he could barely flex his fingers by the time it was over, but it was well worth it in the end.

It was 6:35 p.m. by the time the child was born, just over eighteen hours since Roxanne had gone into labor. All were exhausted by the time it was over, but at the same time, Barnabas couldn’t have been happier if he had tried. He was a father! And of such a beautiful little girl, too, the very image of her mother, his precious Roxanne.

Once Roxanne had awakened from her exhausting ordeal and had been placed in a bed in the maternity ward, Barnabas and Julia were at her side, the proud new father holding his first-born in his arms, his eyes misty with happiness. "She’s so beautiful, Julia," he rhapsodized. "My daughter!" He gazed upon the tiny face, which was a miniature of Roxanne’s, right down to the auburn fuzz on her head and blue-green eyes. He fished for her tiny, perfectly formed hand and it immediately latched onto his large finger with a death grip. A moment later he raised it to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

"Yes," Julia agreed, feeling both happy for him and aching for herself that she could not have been the one to give him this beautiful child. "Don’t you think it’s time you named her?" she suggested. "For your mother, perhaps, or Roxanne’s?"

"I was thinking perhaps ‘Rose Elizabeth’ or ‘Julia Rose’," the new mother put in. "After all, if it hadn’t been for you helping us, Julia, this moment would never have happened."

"I agree," Barnabas concurred. "I think ‘Julia Rose’ would be perfect…but we can call her ‘Rose’ for short. Does that meet with your approval, my darling?"

"Sounds beautiful," Roxanne agreed. "Just as beautiful as our little girl herself." She gave the child in her lover’s arms a tender look full of maternal love.

"There is also something else I would like to suggest to you," Barnabas remarked to Roxanne.

"What is it, my love?" she asked.

"Do you think Julia would consent to being our child’s godmother?"

Julia was too stunned to react for some time, and when she did, she said, "I’m honored and flattered that you would want to do that, Barnabas, but surely Roxanne has someone else in mind."

"Not really," Roxanne denied. "I think it’s a wonderful idea."

Just then, a knock came on the door. "Come in," Roxanne said.

The older woman they had come to know as the Head Nurse stuck her head in. "Your brother wishes to see you, Miss Drew…or should I say Mrs. Collins?"

Roxanne was stunned speechless, giving both Barnabas and Julia questioning looks, but he only smiled and nodded at her to go along with it. "Yes, of course," she agreed. "Send him in."

A moment later Randall Drew entered and made his way to his sister’s side to see his new niece, still in her father’s arms. He spoke softly to Barnabas. "May I hold her?"

Barnabas seemed reluctant but allowed Randall to take the child and hold her. Roxanne smiled and remarked, "I can tell right now that Rose is going to be a real Daddy’s girl."

The others had to echo her smile and agree, including the new father himself… then she asked the question she had been wanting to ask since her brother’s arrival.

"Barnabas, why did the nurse call me ‘Mrs. Collins’?"

"Because I told her you were my wife," he returned simply. "It was the only way I could get in to see you."

"What if your real wife—Valerie—finds out?" she wondered.

"I will do my utmost to see to it that she doesn’t," he assured her. "Now I think it is best for you to inform your brother of what his niece’s name is."

"Randall," Roxanne called softly. "Meet your niece, Julia Rose Collins."

The younger man looked up and smiled…first at his sister, then at his tiny niece nestled in his arms, and finally at Barnabas and Julia, the ones who had made this moment possible.

"She’s beautiful," he pronounced. "Looks just like you, Sis." Then he was silent for a time, just gazing lovingly upon the child, before he spoke again. "Mr. Collins—Barnabas—I assume you intend to acknowledge paternity?"

"I would not be here otherwise," Barnabas assured him.

"Does that mean you also intend to extend financial support for little Rose?"

"It does," he declared.

"And do you want your name on the birth certificate as the father?"

"Definitely," Barnabas returned emphatically. "I would never deny my own flesh and blood."

"I assume that also means that you wish a copy of the birth certificate," Randall continued.

"Most certainly."

"Very well. I’ll make sure you receive one before you leave," Randall promised. "Now how about a family photo? My treat."

"Thank you, Randall; that would be wonderful," Roxanne heartily concurred.

"Only if you allow me to pay for half of it," Barnabas told him.

"As you wish," Randall conceded. "Now I suggest we get it done as soon as possible. How about the day Roxy and Rose go home? I’ll make the arrangements."

"Fine," was the reply.

At that moment the nurse came in and said, stepping up next to Randall, "It’s time for this little miss’s dinner. Now, if you all would leave so as to allow mother and daughter some privacy…"

"I am the child’s father," Barnabas said. "I wish to stay longer...at least for a short time."

There was silence for a time, then the nurse reluctantly nodded. "As long as you leave afterward, since they will also need a good night’s sleep. You may return tomorrow at 9 a.m., which is when visiting hours begin."

"Thank you," Barnabas returned with a grateful smile. "Please go with Randall, Julia. I will rejoin you shortly."

Julia nodded in acknowledgment and departed, albeit reluctantly in spite of the fact that it would have been too painful for her to have stayed and watched the happy domestic scene—mainly because she was not a part of it…and it now seemed as if she never would be, no matter how much she may have wished it.

Randall had handed the baby to Roxanne before he left; she then opened her nightgown and put the child to her right breast, encouraging her to suck. A short time later little Rose began to do so, eventually nursing strongly and for at least twenty minutes. Roxanne was so happy that she began to cry, tears slowly making their way down her cheeks. Barnabas reached to brush one cheek with a finger.

"Darling, why are you crying?"

"I’m so happy, Barnabas. So very happy. I have you here with me, and our beautiful little girl. There is only one other thing I could possibly wish for…" Her voice trailed off.

"I know, beloved. I wish it too—and if at all possible, I intend to see to it that we are actually man and wife one day." He brought her free hand to his lips, then kissed it and put it on his cheek. "I shall only be able to stay for a few days, but I plan to see you every day that I am here. That I can promise you," he assured her.

A short time later the baby, glutted with milk, released her mother’s breast and fell back in her arms, already asleep. Roxanne asked Barnabas to hand her a towel from the tray just out of her reach, put it and then the baby over her shoulder to burp her. Once that was done, she reached for his hand and put it on her cheek while the baby rested in her lap.

"I don’t want you to go, my darling, even though I know you must. The only reason I can stand it now is the fact that you will return tomorrow. Until then, give me a kiss goodbye." She reached to put her arms around his neck and they kissed, sharing a lingering and tenderly passionate interlude. "Now, if you would kiss little Rose…" She lifted the baby up for her father’s kiss; he tenderly kissed the child’s forehead and stroked her hair, then reluctantly turned to go. "I will see you tomorrow, beloved."

"I will be waiting, my love–most impatiently." Barnabas kept Roxanne and the baby in sight as long as possible, having no idea it would be so hard to leave, but knowing he had to while he still could.

Julia was alone when he came out. "Where is Randall?" he inquired.

"He went to get a copy of the birth certificate for you," she explained. "He’ll be back in a little while." She was quiet for a time, then said, "Do you really want me to be your child’s godmother that much?"

"I do," he confirmed. "But not unless you wish to do so. Roxanne and I don’t want to force it upon you."

Julia winced inwardly at the painful reference, then returned, "You wouldn’t be forcing it on me; I just wanted to make sure it was what you really wanted to do."

"Of course," he assured her. "I would never have mentioned it otherwise."

"Then I would be most honored to accept," she smiled through tears of both happiness and pain.

"Thank you, Julia," he murmured softly, embracing her affectionately since they were alone. "I will tell Roxanne tomorrow." They stood together in each other’s arms, her head resting on his chest over his heart for a time before he released her. "I would like to think that if my real sister Sarah had lived, that she would have been like you," he told her, once again prompting tears. He knew she had to be experiencing very deep feelings because Julia did not cry easily—or at least she never had that he could recall.

"Thank you, Barnabas," she whispered, almost too quietly for him to hear. "I’m very glad that you think so."

A short time later she stepped back and turned away from him, wiping her eyes with her handkerchief before turning to face him again. By the time she had composed herself, Randall had returned.

"Are you all right, Dr. Collins?" he asked, concerned.

"I’m fine," Julia assured him. "Barnabas just asked me to be his child’s godmother."

"That’s wonderful. Congratulations," he told her.

"Thank you. Do you have the copy of the birth certificate, Barnabas?"

"Yes. Randall just gave it to me. We must go now and check into a hotel, then have dinner," he suggested.

"I won’t hear of it. You shall stay with me. I have plenty of room," Randall insisted. "I won’t take No for an answer, either."

Barnabas sighed. "In that case, we would be honored to accept your hospitality…Randall."

"Besides, it won’t be so lonely without Roxy if I have you two staying over," the younger man finished.

"It is always lonely without Roxanne," Barnabas remarked softly, so only Randall could hear. He smiled upon noting the love in the other man’s voice and on his face, sensing that whatever else Barnabas Collins was, the man truly loved his sister.

"Well, she’ll be home in a couple of days," he told him. "Let’s go get you settled in now." With that, the three returned to their carriage, still waiting outside, returning to the Drew home and having the housekeeper prepare their rooms while they went out to eat.

Upon their return, he bade Julia good-night, then walked Barnabas to his own room, just down the hall from hers. "I put you in this room," he told the other man when they reached the door. "It adjoins Roxy’s and what will be the baby’s room—just in case you wish to be with her… them… once she comes home."

"Thank you," Barnabas replied gratefully.

"It’s the least I can do," Randall dismissed. "And I want you to know that I have no objections to your relationship with Roxy as long as you treat her and the baby right."

"I fully intend to," Barnabas assured him. At least to the fullest possible extent, he finished in his mind.

"Glad to hear it. Good night now."

"Good night." With that, Randall took his leave and allowed Barnabas to retire. It took him a while to actually fall asleep, of course, but this time he really had something to wake up for. He lay in bed thinking over the events of the day, particularly the moment when he had first held his child in his arms, then fell asleep with a smile after once again reliving the tenderly passionate kiss he had shared with his beloved Roxanne, the child’s mother, before they had reluctantly parted.

It was Julia who was the most deeply affected by the action Barnabas had taken. It had been Heaven to feel the gentle strength of his arms around her and her head resting over his heart; she could have stayed there forever counting his heartbeats as other people counted sheep–but it had ended all too soon. Their times alone together always seemed to end too soon, the times when she could simply hold him and pretend that he belonged to her, if only for a brief time.

But she had to face reality; Barnabas belonged to Roxanne, not her—and from the looks of things, he always would. Even if they broke up one day, their child, beautiful little Julia Rose, her namesake and goddaughter, would bind them together because she was a symbol of the love he had shared with Roxanne. However, Julia had been around Barnabas long enough to be able to tell whether he was truly in love or simply infatuated. Most of the time it was the latter, but it had been different with Roxanne. He had not been kidding when he had told her that he hadn’t felt this way about a woman since Josette…and Julia knew that he had truly loved her.

The majority of women Barnabas had been involved with had resembled Josette to some degree, particularly Maggie Evans, but Roxanne was different in that sense, too. For example, her looks—or more accurately, her fiery reddish-gold hair, almost reminiscent of Julia herself at that age—being only one. Maybe it was her overall personality or appearance which had attracted him, not simply one aspect of it. Roxanne was also psychic, having the ability to sense things or get visions simply by touching articles owned by given people.

It was unlikely that she would get a straight answer, even by asking Barnabas himself just what it was which had attracted him to Roxanne. But there had to be a reason why. After all, she was the only woman he had fallen in love with in two time bands; the others hadn’t even lasted through one. Besides, who could tell what prompted a man and woman to fall in love? Roxanne had even been willing to die for him and then rise again to be his vampire bride for all eternity. If it hadn’t been for Angelique taking control of her when she had actually become one of the Undead…through an action instigated by the former, of course—it would have happened.

Thankfully Julia had been able to break his vampiric curse through medical means, enabling Barnabas to pursue Roxanne as a normal man and father a child…the cause of all her heartache now. But deep down, she couldn’t blame either of them. Roxanne, after all, was just a sheltered young girl and Barnabas was her first love. Julia knew from experience that first love was often the strongest kind, prompting the person or persons to do things they would not ordinarily do…in essence, go where angels feared to tread.

Barnabas was a sophisticated older man with impeccable Old World manners, particularly when it regarded his treatment of women. The fact that he was also so damnably good-looking didn’t help matters either—especially as far as Julia was concerned. A combination of looks and charm was irresistible to men and women alike. Barnabas had always had a penchant for lovely young women, most of whom were in their early to mid-twenties…but even if he had chosen her (Julia), there would still have been (at least technically) over a century between them in age.

Even now, he looked to only be in his mid- to late 40s—the only positive aspect of his age having been frozen in 1795 when the furiously jealous Angelique had placed the vampiric curse on him. But this romance with Roxanne didn’t seem nearly as much like his usual infatuations with young girls, although it had certainly started out the same. So many times Julia had had been sorely tempted to slap Barnabas silly because he had been making such a total spectacle of himself with women (girls, really) who were most likely attracted to him because of either his looks, his money or the Collins name, if not all three.

Julia knew that for a romantic relationship to endure, a lot more was necessary…sharing both good times and bad, accepting the loved one, warts and all, unconditionally—remaining loyal, no matter what, helping them when- and however they could. She had done all those things for Barnabas in the five years they had known each other…and what did she have to show for it? Five years of heartache and loneliness, her payback for having been foolish enough to commit the cardinal sin for a doctor: falling in love with her patient.

But I’m not just a doctor, damn it, Julia protested. I’m a woman…every bit as much as Roxanne, and then some! If Barnabas could just once think with his head instead of his hormones, he would have seen that long ago!

Oh well, no sense torturing herself over what might have been; it wouldn’t get her anywhere but upset. At least she had a close friendship with Barnabas; some women never even had that much of a relationship with the man they loved. If that was all that was to be granted to her, she must make the most of it and cherish all they had shared—and did share—together, even if it wasn’t what she would have preferred. What mattered was Barnabas’ happiness…and however painful it may be, it was her duty to see that it continued, if only for his sake.

Two days later, everyone came home from the hospital, Roxanne and the new baby in tow. Randall had told the new parents that he had arranged for the photographer, Roland Seagram, to arrive at 1 p.m. at the Drew home for the family portrait. It was presently 10:30 a.m. and they were about halfway home.

"In fact, he might even be early. I hope we don’t keep him waiting too long," the young lawyer remarked, riding his horse next to the carriage where Barnabas, Julia, Roxanne and the baby rode.

"Oh, I’m certain he’ll wait, considering how much you’re paying him," Roxanne remarked.

"You know it always costs more to do family portraits than individual ones, Roxy," Randall reminded her. "Besides, I’m not paying for all of it—just half. Barnabas insisted on paying for the other half."

Roxanne looked at her lover, stunned; Barnabas simply smiled and nodded. "It was the least I could do after all you have endured for my sake, beloved." Her raised her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly, although Roxanne sensed that he wanted to do far more…but it would have to wait until they were alone.

"I would do anything for you, my darling," she whispered so only he could hear—then they resumed their previous position with Barnabas in the middle between the two women, one arm around each of their shoulders. Roxanne had settled her head on his left shoulder, the sleeping child held securely but lovingly in her arms. Julia envied her the ability to openly show her love for Barnabas. Worst of all was the fact that the younger woman knew that he truly belonged to her in spite of his ersatz marriage to Valerie/Angelique. But she nonetheless treasured the feel of his nearness and the gentle strength of his arm around her shoulders.

A short time later she noticed that Roxanne had fallen asleep, but she herself remained awake during the entire trip home from the hospital. Upon their arrival home at eleven o’clock, everyone got inside and prepared themselves for the portrait; Barnabas went off with Randall while Julia helped Roxanne prepare herself and baby Julia Rose.

It was at least two hours before everyone was ready, but they were glad to see that there was still half an hour before Seagram was due to arrive. As it turned out, it was he who was late. He finally arrived just past one-thirty…but once there, Seagram wasted no time setting up. Randall had told him there were to be six portraits altogether: one of the new family, including Julia and Randall; the new parents with baby Julia Rose; one of each parent by themselves; one of the couple themselves together, and finally one of little Rose by herself, propped up on pillows.

It took a while for Barnabas to tear his eyes off Roxanne, slender again and clad in a blue gauze dress trimmed with lace and matching bows in her impeccably styled auburn hair. The lower half of the sleeves down to the points on her hands and the upper half of the bodice were lace, each fitting her like a second skin, but the skirt was full, three petticoats billowing it out. The collar was scalloped lace and buttoned with pearl buttons almost to her chin. Gold-and-diamond earrings sparkled in her ears.

"You are lovely, my darling," Barnabas told her sincerely.

"And you are very handsome, my love," Roxanne returned sincerely, taking in his crisp white shirt, smart black suit with its perfectly tied cravat and matching shoes. "But we must not keep Mr. Seagram waiting."

Barnabas sighed but knew she was right, recalling how long photography sessions usually were, particularly when more than one subject was involved—frequently an all-day affair. Seagram finally decided to do the portraits as follows: first, the new parents with the baby, then the individual portraits, the couple’s portrait, the one of the entire family, and lastly, the one of the baby by herself.

Seagram positioned the couple on the small couch in the living room, the baby in Roxanne’s lap. Both new parents were beaming with happiness and pride; Barnabas even had one arm around Roxanne, but where it couldn’t be seen easily—down near the curve of her waist. He was very tempted to tickle her on that very spot, where he knew she was the most ticklish, but tactfully refrained…at least until the last photo session. The couple was standing on the sidelines watching their daughter’s picture being taken at various angles when he lightly stroked Roxanne’s ticklish spot—once, twice, three times. She endured it the first time, squirmed the second, and finally, squealed and squirmed.

"Barnabas, stop it," she giggled. "You know I’m ticklish there!"

Now that he had gotten a proper response, her lover smiled mischievously, kissed her ear and acceded to her wishes.

It was late afternoon before the session was over; before Seagram left, Randall and Barnabas pooled their money and the younger man paid him for services rendered, including a 10% bonus for actions above and beyond the call of duty…specifically, his patience and understanding when the baby fussed or fretted for one reason or another—if not to be changed, to be fed, prompting her mother to take time out to feed her. He departed a short time later, around six-thirty, telling them it would take at least two weeks, if not up to a month, before he could complete all the daguerreotypes. Upon completion, however, he would deliver them to the Drew home, then they (or Randall) would contact those most concerned and let them know.

Late that evening, after dinner and little Julia Rose had been put down for the night after another feeding, then Randall and Julia had each retired to their own rooms, Barnabas joined Roxanne in hers, which adjoined the baby’s and his own. He carefully locked both the doors leading into either room, leaving open only the connecting door between his and her rooms. He then approached where she sat at her vanity in her silk and lace nightgown, kneeling down on one knee to slide his arms around her from behind, warmly kissing either her throat or the nape of her neck.

She sighed and shivered deliciously, the sigh turning into a soft moan when her beloved’s hands reached to gently cradle her breasts and gently knead her nipples. "Oh, Barnabas, my darling…"

"Roxanne, my love, it has been so very difficult to keep my hands off you. This afternoon–the entire day, in fact—has seemed an eternity until we could be alone. Please do not deny me the pleasure of touching you, caressing you, holding you…"

"But you know we cannot make love again for six weeks," she gently, sadly reminded him, covering his hands with hers to make sure they didn’t wander further until she decided otherwise.

"I know—but perhaps you can satisfy me another way," he suggested.

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously.

"Before I tell you, I must give you the option of refusing should you find the idea repugnant."

"My dearest love, nothing we do sexually could possibly be repugnant to me," Roxanne assured him. "But tell me what you mean, nonetheless." When he finished, she smiled and nodded. "That sounds like a perfect alternative until we can do it the regular way again."

He was surprised but pleased, also suggesting both kinds of oral sex as another option. In this way, the lovers’ intimate contact would not have to stop simply because there could be no "ordinary" sexual relations between them. Again, Roxanne insisted to her lover that none of the intimacies they had shared could ever be called ordinary; more likely, extraordinary.

Upon joining her in her bed, he snuggled close to her, lifting her nightgown to her waist and baring her swollen breasts with their extra-sensitive nipples to his loving touch. After parting her cheeks with one hand, he joined with her via her "back door". It was somewhat reminiscent of their regular intimacies…and she was pleased to note very little pain by comparison to the first time he had claimed her the regular way.

It might even be possible—if they were careful—for him to bring her off either manually (with his fingers) or orally. They would try both, and whichever offered less discomfort for her, they would do whenever she felt up to it. Meanwhile, their love play and this rear-entry joining would have to suffice. Many times Roxanne would marvel at her lover’s appetite and stamina; up to this point, she had been certain he was still having regular conjugal relations with his wife, Valerie…but Barnabas had assured her that that was not the case. At least not nearly as much as she might think.

"We, in essence, share the same bed, but there has been little sexual contact between us, even since our supposed reconciliation. Usually I only give in when I cannot think of any more reasons to refuse."

"But why are you so distant, so estranged from her? She has her faults, certainly, but is still a very beautiful and no doubt passionate woman, if overly jealous and possessive."

"Therein lies the problem," Barnabas told her as they cuddled together upon their climaxing. "Valerie is far too jealous and possessive. The rest is much too complicated to explain in terms you would understand. Suffice it to say that many times I myself cannot understand the…unfortunate relationship between us."

"Do you ever intend to tell her about little Rose or the fact that she is our child? Has she not ever confessed to you her desire to bear you a child herself?" Roxanne turned to face Barnabas, her auburn head resting over his heart, her arms locked around him.

"I do not think that would be wise," he told her. "Yes, Valerie—has always…desired children, but is–unable to have them, so she might attempt to take little Rose from you, particularly if she knew that Rose was my child."

"We could not—even share Rose with her?" Roxanne suggested incredulously.

"No," Barnabas declared from over her head. "Valerie would not be content to share."

Roxanne sighed. "Then we will simply have to continue our correspondence as we have been and I will keep you up-to-date on Rose’s latest doings."

"It would be very much appreciated," her bedmate remarked. "Now we must sleep. Julia and I must make preparations to return to Collinsport and the Old House within 24 hours."

Roxanne kissed him passionately. "If only you didn’t have to go."

"Unfortunately, I must. All we can do is continue as we have been until I can devise a way for us to be together with our child without repercussions." He yawned deeply. "No more talking now." Barnabas gave her a final lingering kiss, then they slept spoon-fashion until morning.

It took three weeks for the daguerreotypes to be completed; both Roxanne and Randall rhapsodized over them once they arrived—and after Julia and Barnabas saw them, they understood why. Since Angelique had gone into Collinsport (again, with her Gypsy sidekick, Laszlo), Barnabas felt safe in going over to Collinwood to both pick up his latest letter from Roxanne and the pictures about a month after little Rose’s birth.

He had requested one of himself with Roxanne and little Rose, as well as one of Roxanne by herself, which she had signed, "To My Darling Barnabas—All My Love Forever, Your Roxanne–December 7, 1840" and the one with baby Rose by herself. On the back of that was written, "Julia Rose Collins, Born December 3, 1840." On the family portrait, she had written, "Father, Mother and Child–Barnabas, Roxanne and Julia Rose, December 7, 1840."

Julia had gotten a picture of the baby with her own letter; on the back was written, "To Godmother Julia Collins – Miss Julia Rose Collins, Born December 3, 1840." She had also requested one of Barnabas by himself. (It was too painful for her to consider any others.) Randall’s latest telegram had said that they could get more copies of the pictures if they wished; he just needed to know which ones and how many of each—then to allow sufficient time for them to be made and send sufficient payment for them. Now their only problem would be to keep them hidden from Valerie/Angelique.

Like most new parents, Barnabas and Roxanne wanted to show off their child to all and sundry, but for obvious reasons, they had to keep their pride and joy among themselves. Even as much as they wished they could, they still had to keep the new arrival secret from both families—Roxanne’s and the bulk of the Collins family. Only certain trusted friends (and Quentin Collins) would know, other than those directly involved…mostly for their own safety.

Go to: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

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